His mistress is your new best friend
What the other woman knows about your marriage—and no, she's not trying to break it, you've already done that [THE MISTRESS BREAKS DOWN WHAT SHE KNOWS]
Actually, I don’t want to be your best friend either. But I’ve now got your attention and it might be a good idea to listen to what I have to say. Because of my unique position in your marriage I know exactly why your husband is in this secretive and often precarious relationship with me. And it might not be because of what you think.
While society loves to cast the “mistress” as a villain, the sole cause for a marriage to end or in some cases become stronger and continue, is not me. But what I know about how we all got here in the first place is the critical information you need.
1. It’s Not Just About Sex
The physical intimacy I have with your husband is pretty next level. I’m not going to minimise that. It’s also hurried, sporadic and impulsive, when he can get away and when we won’t be discovered. It’s intense because of the time we spend talking, and we don’t just talk about what we will do sexually when we see each other. He feels very close to me because I give him a lot of time to talk and be seen. I remember what he was planning to do that day and I check in to see how he’s going. I even listen along to all the developments involving your children. I do it because I enjoy it too. We are close because we communicate and that is often lacking after years of raising kids and living parallel lives as parents.
2. Scarcity: The Mistress’s Secret Weapon
This idea comes from behavioural economics and psychology — when something feels limited, rare, or forbidden, it becomes more valuable. In affairs, secrecy and limited access can amplify desire, making the sexual element seem more intense than it might otherwise be. An unfair advantage I agree, when you see him every day and at his sloppy best and I don’t.
3. The Mistress as a Mirror (And Occasionally a Magnifying Glass)
I’m not just a threat to your marriage but I’m also a reflection. By listening to me you’ll find out exactly what’s missing according to my lover. As a teaser I’ll let you know it’s the basics. He doesn’t feel appreciated, and maybe you don’t either. It’s just that his solution for that isn’t the same as yours. You can whinge to your yoga mates until you’re exhausted and they will absolutely validate you because they feel the same way. He’ll just feel very appreciated by me
5. Affairs Are Relationships Too (Yes, Even the Illicit Ones)
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: affairs can evolve. They can deepen. They can even become real relationships.
With enough emotional input, communication, and mutual growth, what started as a secret rendezvous can morph into something more stable. It’s rare, messy, and often socially frowned upon, but it happens.
Affairs are like bonsai trees—small, hidden, and requiring obsessive care to survive. Most die in the dark. But some—with sunlight, pruning, and a complete moral overhaul—grow into something strangely beautiful.
6. Final Thoughts
So if you discover our relationship, I know you will be horrified and distraught but maybe not surprised. When you really think about it, you two aren’t that close anymore. You are hanging in there for the kids, and for fear of a new life, completely upended from the existing one. However, you do have the choice with what to do with the next steps, and by following on with what I write about, maybe you can actually prevent the demise.
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