“What I said” vs “What I should have said”
How many times a day do you have an exchange and immediately regret the response you hear yourself say in the moment. How many times do you tell somebody else later when they have time to manufacture the perfect retort with a smug expression that makes you feel even worse.
Well, here at DOOM we get the quandry and we are here to solve it.
Each week we’ll ponder a response a reader has sent in and craft the perfect answer. Hopefully by reading along you’ll widen your repertoire and avoid the dismay these situations can bring.
SCENARIO ONE
As a solo traveller I found myself in a difficult situation on a plane recently. Not because I’m a solo traveller but because travelling solo brings with it a whole pile of discrimination people in relationships don’t care about or even register.
I really need an aisle seat, because it’s how I most comfortably travel. I hate asking a stranger if I can rub up against them as I manoeuvre my way out of a seat to get to the toilet mid-flight.
I choose my seat selection weeks ahead of time because that’s how much it matters, regardless of the time on the plane.
Recently, on a very short-haul domestic flight, I made my way to my selected aisle seat and am immediately beset upon by a flight attendant who wants me to move to accommodate a couple. A couple who obviously didn’t care enough to book their seating preferences ahead of time to ensure they didn’t need to tolerate sitting apart for 75 minutes—not on different planes but in different rows.
What did I say?
Of course.
What should I have said?
Well reader, you bring up a lot of issues here that many of our solo followers will resonate with. The expected accommodation every solo traveler across the globe find themselves compromised because of the existence of people who actually have others to travel with. Whether it’s the shitty seat in the restaurant so the table with the view isn’t wasted, or the requirement to pay the same price for a hotel room as two people who use double the amount of amenities and oxygen as the solo occupant. Afterall, you only rumple up one side of the bed but pay as if you have slept on every pillow, not to mention only use half the glassware, body wash and toilet paper per night stay.
We hear you and we call enough.
We think it’s only fair that you call out the ill-prepared and entitled people who want your seat on the plane. We know people that are already seated are watching and listening—and rest assured some of them are travelling solo too and want to see how someone like you would manage this. They want to do it too. You need to embrace your opportunity to empower here.
Simple answer is to say:
No.
Look we get it. We know this means that you’ll be then seated with half of a couple who will be angry and possibly nasty. We know you may feel a little bit uncomfortable with the glances and the battle for the armrest that will ensue. But hang in there. You don’t know these people and they need to learn to prepare better for trips if they can’t bear to be apart.
You’ll also have your leg room and your ability to go to the toilet as many times as you like without touching another single soul.
And your selfish, ill-prepared and entitled couple will learn a lesson that will only benefit them in the end. In fact, you’ll also achieve some kudos from all the passengers who are to be as steadfast and as self-advocating as you.
And who cares what the flight attendant thinks, she might be impressed as well.
Take home message: You always deserve the best view in the restaurant.
